The True Meaning of Discipline

Parents often forget that a child learns discipline by following his parents’ example.  An old Japanese proverb says that children learn by watching their mothers’ backs.  In other words, children do as their parents do.  If parents physically abuse their children, even in the name of discipline, then the children will learn the violence of physical abuse.  The children will suffer as the victims of physical abuse, probably without understanding the lesson behind the abuse.  This is especially true when parents spank even young babies under the age of one year.  What on earth does a young child learn from physical punishment except violence?

t appears that parents do not even conceive of the possibly that there is a cultural expectation that young children will misbehave and that parents will duly punish their unwieldy children.  As a result of cultural influences, parents are led to expect “the terrible twos,” and they are expected to use force to subdue their children.  For some reason, despite the barbarity of imposing physical punishment upon young and defenseless children, parents spank and hit their children. 

It is not clear to me why parents do not heed the inner revulsion that their consciences should be expressing?  Is it because our culture has become so accustomed to the norm of misunderstanding children and their behavior that parents’ consciences may no longer be stricken with pangs of doubt when they use corporal punishment?  Are parents so undisciplined that they can no longer see how wrong it is to hit another person, especially one who happens to be smaller and weaker?  Ultimately, it is ironic that undisciplined parents expect young children to become disciplined.

There are parents who will object to the idea that they are undisciplined, but self-control and restraint are integral aspects of discipline.  How does a parent who spanks or hits his or her child express either self-control or restraint?  Some child-rearing experts advise parent to cool off before spanking their young children.  I find this suggestion to be ludicrous since spanking achieves only one objective:  it advocates violence against children. 

In other words, some experts suggest beating a child after the parent has calmed down so that the child knows that the beating is for his good and not just the result of a parent’s anger.  Who actually believes that violence at any time is beneficial?  It is illogical and unconscionable that any sane parent would advocate corporal punishment at all. 

The key to understanding discipline is to comprehend the importance of satisfying a child’s needs.  Fulfillment of fundamental needs is a mandate in early childhood.  These needs are primarily the need to love and to be loved; the physical need for nourishment, comfort, warmth, and touch; the need to play and to work; the need to be close to one's mother; and the need for assurance.  All these needs and more are fulfilled by breastfeeding on demand. 

These needs can and should be fulfilled not only for the well-being of young children but also for their parents.  When young children are satisfied, the need for punitive measures to teach or enforce discipline is unnecessary.  Satisfied children will be disciplined, and that is the bottom line. 

Breastfeeding on demand is what has enabled human beings to survive, yet today's parents know very little about breastfeeding on demand.  This is a cultural deficiency that needs to be addressed post haste.  Breastfeeding is a non-punitive, pleasurable, and deeply life-fulfilling activity.  Every child and his parents deserve to experience the good that breastfeeding creates. 

The simplicity of breastfeeding on demand will ease many parents’ and children’s lives because the need for discipline becomes non-existent.  Discipline, as embodied so perfectly by the art of breastfeeding, is learned at the breast in a non-violent way through positive human interaction.  Life is meant to be enjoyable.  This is possible if more parents would offer their children the gift of prolonged breastfeeding on demand.

Les Brown is a top Motivational Speaker, Speech Coach, and Best-Selling Author, loving father and grandfather, whose passion is empowering youth and helping them have a larger vision for their lives. Les Brown's straight-from-the-heart, high-energy, passionate message motivates and engages all audiences to step into their greatness, providing them with the motivation to take the next step toward living their dream. Les Brown's charisma, warmth and sense of humor have impacted many lives. Les Brown's life itself is a true testament to the power of positive thinking and the infinite human potential. Leslie C. Brown was born on February 17, 1945, in an abandoned building on a floor in Liberty City, a low-income section of Miami, Florida, and adopted at six weeks of age by Mrs. Mamie Brown, a 38 year old single woman, cafeteria cook and domestic worker, who had very little education or financial means, but a very big heart and the desire to care for Les Brown and his twin brother, Wesley Brown. Les Brown calls himself "Mrs. Mamie Brown's Baby Boy" and claims "All that I am and all that I ever hoped to be, I owe to my mother".

In the fifth grade, Les Brown was mistakenly declared "educably mentally retarded" and placed back in the fourth grade and later failed the eight grade, due to his inattention to school work, his restless energy, and his teachers' failure to recognize his true potential. He was referred to as "D .T." for "Dumb Twin". The label and stigma severely damaged his self-esteem for many years. Mamie Brown's believe in her son's ability to achieve whatever he set his mind to achieving made a difference in his life. "Her strength and character are my greatest inspiration, always have been and always will be." Les Brown’s determination and persistence searching for ways to help Mamie Brown overcome poverty and his philosophy “do whatever it takes to achieve success” led him to become a distinguished authority on harnessing human potential and success. Les Brown's passion to learn and his hunger to realize greatness in himself and others helped him to achieve greatness in spite of not having formal education or training beyond high school. "My mission is to get a message out that will help people become uncomfortable with their mediocrity. A lot of people are content with their discontent. I want to be the catalyst that enables them to see themselves having more and achieving more." Les moved to Detroit and rented an office with an attorney, where he slept on the floor and welcomed his reality stating that he did not even want a blanket or pallet on the cold, hard floor to keep him motivated to strive. In 1986, Les entered the public speaking arena on a full-time basis and formed his own company, Les Brown Enterprises, Inc.. In 1989, Les Brown was the recipient of the National Speakers Association's highest honor: the Council of Peers Award of Excellence. In 1990, Les Brown recorded his first in a series of speech presentations for the Public Broadcasting System. In 1991, the program entitled "You Deserve" with Les Brown, was awarded a Chicago-area Emmy and became the leading fund-raising program of its kind for pledges to PBS stations nationwide. In 1992, he was selected as one of the year's Top Five Outstanding Speakers by members of Toastmasters International. He has also been honored at the International Convention of the National Speaker's Association with the organization's most prestigious award for excellence in the field of communication and leadership: The Golden Gavel. Les Brown rose from a hip-talking morning DJ to broadcast manager; from community activist to community leader; from political commentator to three-term State legislator in Ohio; and from a banquet and nightclub emcee to premier Keynote Speaker for audiences as big as 80,000 people, including Fortune 500 companies and organizations all over the world. As a caring and dedicated Speech Coach, Les Brown has coached and trained numerous successful young speakers all over the nation. Les Brown is also the author of the highly acclaimed and successful books, "Live Your Dreams" and "It's Not Over Until You Win", and former host of The Les Brown Show, a nationally syndicated daily television talk show which focused on solutions and not on problems.